Richard Strand (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
nobasisinfact) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thesphererp2020-06-14 12:09 am
nobasisinfact) wrote in thesphererp2020-06-14 12:09 am
Mem share: Richard
(No warnings I can think of)
The house is a mess – it's not your house, not really. It's your father's house, and there are tapes and books littered around. It isn't a place that one would think of when they mention 'the house of their childhood,' but it is to you. This is the place that helped shape you, and right now, it's helping to rip a hole through you. Surrounded by all of this, and listening to a particular podcast – for the fourth time.
You should have known she would go that she wouldn't use common sense (if not a good reason). She'd follow a murderer to another country just because he asked. Just because 'there was a story there.' It's watering her reasons down, you know that, but you also know that, in the end, that's what it came down to. Alex would follow someone into hell if she thought it would give her a good story. That's who she is, and you know that well. It's what brought her to call you so many times; and what kept her coming back when you alienated her, both on purpose and by accident.
You can't help drifting back for that first year. You hadn't wanted to get Alex involved, but at the same time, she had been the best option for trying to find Coralee. And you needed to find d Coralee. You needed to find her so much that you used a little girl and her over-curiousness to do it. And yet, you still didn't want her to be hurt. You pushed her away with all your strength. Perhaps, you knew that she was like this. That only a person this stupid would pursue you as she had.
And now what?
Now she's gone, at least half a world away after arguably one of the most dangerous people she'd gotten involved with (because of you). All you could do was wait for a call, text, or impromptu return. Or the news was talking about her death (or complete silence as they never found her body).
"I’m not sure, but you’ve got to admit it sounds strangely familiar, doesn’t it? A universal hum, this relationship between math and music? I feel this is the thing that connects it all."
You can't stop the thick like that's become your mouth. It's very possible, even likely, that this will be the last time you're able to hear her voice. You hate it. You need more scotch.
The house is a mess – it's not your house, not really. It's your father's house, and there are tapes and books littered around. It isn't a place that one would think of when they mention 'the house of their childhood,' but it is to you. This is the place that helped shape you, and right now, it's helping to rip a hole through you. Surrounded by all of this, and listening to a particular podcast – for the fourth time.
You should have known she would go that she wouldn't use common sense (if not a good reason). She'd follow a murderer to another country just because he asked. Just because 'there was a story there.' It's watering her reasons down, you know that, but you also know that, in the end, that's what it came down to. Alex would follow someone into hell if she thought it would give her a good story. That's who she is, and you know that well. It's what brought her to call you so many times; and what kept her coming back when you alienated her, both on purpose and by accident.
You can't help drifting back for that first year. You hadn't wanted to get Alex involved, but at the same time, she had been the best option for trying to find Coralee. And you needed to find d Coralee. You needed to find her so much that you used a little girl and her over-curiousness to do it. And yet, you still didn't want her to be hurt. You pushed her away with all your strength. Perhaps, you knew that she was like this. That only a person this stupid would pursue you as she had.
And now what?
Now she's gone, at least half a world away after arguably one of the most dangerous people she'd gotten involved with (because of you). All you could do was wait for a call, text, or impromptu return. Or the news was talking about her death (or complete silence as they never found her body).
"I’m not sure, but you’ve got to admit it sounds strangely familiar, doesn’t it? A universal hum, this relationship between math and music? I feel this is the thing that connects it all."
You can't stop the thick like that's become your mouth. It's very possible, even likely, that this will be the last time you're able to hear her voice. You hate it. You need more scotch.