Memory Share: Richard Strand

[nobasisinfact]

You enter the room first, hearing the door shut and the familiar soft click of a lock. You expected it, of course, you did, though somehow it's still surprising. Surprising that you're here at all, that the two of you are face to face for the first time in twenty years. You still can't seem to turn and look the woman you've been hunting for in the eye. Look at her knowing that this will probably be goodbye.

There's a deep, resigned sigh from behind you and you know what you'd see if you did turn around. Coralee Strand, leaning against the door with her arms crossed, frown set in her face and piercing eyes filled with annoyance and disappointment. You can almost read what's running through her thoughts. You're an idiot. She told you not to see him, not to get involved; but you went anyway. You didn't listen, you never do. At least not in her eyes.

“Richard.” It sounds like an admonishment when she says it, and you feel as if no time passed between that argument in the car and now. It almost makes you want to move past her and open the door, run and hide and refuse to let this happen again. How can you lose her again?

“I think,” Finally you turn to face her. She's breathtaking. Hair up and her eyes are staring into you as if she could see into your heart. You fell in love with those eyes, that brilliant mind behind them and the personality that could turn anyone they wanted to stone. “I think I deserve some answers.” It's hard to get the words out without wanting to pull her into your arms. She'd never allow that.

There's the sigh again. It's as if she's admonishing a child. You heard that sigh many times in your past. When Charlie had gotten into trouble, or you'd gotten especially obsessed over something – and when you'd started fighting. Every time you started fighting. “Richard.” But you stand your ground this time, saying nothing, only waiting. “Fine.” She crosses to the other side of the room, and your eyes follow her. You've always been drawn to her since the moment you met. “You thought I was having an affair with Thomas Warren, didn't you.” It wasn't a question and didn't need an answer. You did. “I wasn't, and I never was. Warren and I, we're members of an organization led by the Advocate – or I was. I left because of you. I fell in love with you, Richard, I wanted to protect you from them, from everyone.”

That's a surprise — all of it. With everything going on and everything, you and Alex have already learned there's no way to believe that this “organization” is anything but evil. Everything to this point has been leading to demons and the supernatural. To find out that Coralee was a part of it had been a part of it all along is jarring. “Then why did you leave?”

“When I left the organization, it put you and Charlie at risk. I was your watcher. I was supposed to keep you safe, keep track of you; I didn't leave you, Richard, they found me. I just didn't come back when I finally made it out.”

“Why?” There wasn't anything special about you. “Why were they watching me?”

“They, the Advocate, the organization, they think there's something in your family. There's some sort of genetic marker or key. The Advocate thinks they can manipulate it. Just, not yet.” She's moving something in her hands, twisting it while her frown seems to deepen.

“You know how that sounds.” It sounds insane. There's nothing in your genes that makes you unique. You're the same as everyone else, and you both know it.

“They want to use you, Richard. I think, I think Thomas Warren is the Advocate and has been working with the Order of the Cenophus. They want to use you to do something. I don't know what, but I know it's bad.”

“Do you have any proof?” You try to keep your voice even, calm. You're pretty sure it isn't working.

“No, but you need to stay away from Daiva Corporation. Stay away from Thomas Warren.” It's firm like she's telling a child or a dog to stay put.

“Then I'll go with you.” You know your voice is cracking, you can hear it. “You know I've been looking for you.” You finally bridge the gap, reach for her hands, but she pulls them away.

She pulls away as if bitten. “No. You can't come with me. It's too dangerous. I wouldn't have contacted you except for that show of yours and your little reporter.”

“Alex didn't do anything wrong.” You're surprised by the venom in your voice. The protectiveness you feel for her. You hadn't expected that. It looks like Coralee hadn't either. Her eyes narrow with a new sort of suspicion.

“Are you sleeping with her?” A strange demand for a woman who disappeared and never came back; whatever her reason.

“No.” You aren't. The thought never crossed your mind; only Coralee. You feel a headache starting, and you let out a sigh of your own.

“If you love me, you won't ask me to take you with me. It's not a place for you, Richard. I'm not taking you with.”

You feel your heat sink, shattering. There's an empty numbness in the feeling. A familiarity that came with every reply to every letter you asked her to return home. She's never going to take you back; she's never going to accept you again. It's over. Still, “Coralee.” Your voice is pleading now, but she's already crossed to the door. You follow as she unlocks it. It's already clear that she's decided that the conversation is over.

She opens the door, sparing one last cold glance. “Goodbye, Richard.” Then she exits, and you feel your world shatter for the second time in twenty years.

(OOC: Just so you know, there is major spoilers for 'The Black Tapes' inside.)

Comments

audio; un: thefunone

[itsnothingpersonal]

[Loki has always had a fondness for entertainment, and this, the broadcasts of scenes from peoples' pasts? Fascinating. The replication of emotion is perfect, probably because it's real and placed in your mind by the same implant that's transmitting everything else, and he can't help but be entranced.

You can hear the smile in his voice when he responds.]

Humans are so fond of their conspiracies and secret organizations.

[nobasisinfact]

[Someone has decided to muscle in on his personal life, again. Because these idiots can't mind their own business and leave his memories alone, they pry.

The answer back is cold and calculating; almost devoid of emotion.]

I'm not.

[itsnothingpersonal]

No, I suppose you wouldn't be, considering all they've cost you. [A beat.] Aren't you the least bit curious how your bloodline plays into it all?

[nobasisinfact]

I already know what they think. It's idiocy.

[itsnothingpersonal]

I'll admit, humans are easily led, but they seem rather dedicated to be convinced of idiocy.

[nobasisinfact]

It's one of their many downfalls.

[itsnothingpersonal]

Fair. How long ago was this?

[nobasisinfact]

Does it matter?

[He doesn't know you. You don't get to pry into his life that deeply.]

[itsnothingpersonal]

Well, yes. Who likes a cliffhanger? What did you do after the closed the door on your chapter of her life? Did you weep? Did you run off on some fool's errand to prove her wrong? Did you go against her wishes and pursue her?

[11calls]

[If Alex had thought that seeing herself in Simon's memory was weird, this is actually even weirder. This is a conversation that she'd thought she'd had all the major points of, bit it turns out that she had only heard about half of it, and second hand from Richard. On the show, she'd said that she'd felt how he'd wanted to go after his wife, and how she'd seen that Coralee still loved him, even if it wasn't any consolation to him at the time.

Or now, she thought.

But what she doesn't expect, or didn't expect, or some sort of combination of the two is the way that Coralee brings her up. Or how he defended her. Or the question about sleeping with him, because that doesn't happen for eight months after this. At least. A year nearly, because he'd been gone for so long, and it had only been after she'd gotten back from Turkey... But Alex can't focus on that, not right now.

(Even if it doesn't escape her that Richard basically admitted to everything leading to demons and the supernatural. That's a surprise too. Even when he told her the story about his father and asked her to trust him, he'd not told her that, and it was a year later.)

Because she remembers this day all too vividly, and the night that followed it, and how Richard had desperately wanted to not be alone with those memories of Coralee pressing back against him. Instead they'd drunk and they'd talked and eventually Alex had turned off the record, letting it just be the two of them until the pinkish light of dawn had started to slip through the windows of Strand's study.

When he doesn't contact her after this, Alex worries. She can't help to worry, because she's her and she's him and it's not as if there's space here for him to go off and start being alone. For Alex, it's a bit of a miracle that she gives Richard a thirty minute head start before she goes looking for him, and even more of one that she actually does go looking and doesn't cheat and ask the Sphere where he happens to be. Instead, she goes through all of the places where he might be, knowing that none of them are going to be their dome, the school or his office.

Instead, she finds him at a dive bar, and just sits down next to him without saying anything.

Alex knows better than anyone how much Richard hates having his privacy violated, and at least when he told her about this (and of course her show) she'd not been able to see the need in him to go with Coralee, and the audience didn't either. But now everyone here in the Sphere can and it sucks.]

[nobasisinfact]

[Richard is well into a bottle of cheap scotch by the time she finds him. He's sitting alone in the darkest recesses of the furthest and most remote bar he can find. When she makes her way over, he raises his brow questioningly. It's not that he didn't expect her to come, he knew she would, it was more the fact that she'd managed to find him so quickly. Then he remembered the neural implants.

Instead of asking or saying anything, he flags someone over and gets a second glass and another bottle. Silently, he pours them both a drink.]

[11calls]

[Alex just takes the drink silently, and sips on it, unable to stop herself from making a little bit of a face. Normally, Richard prefers far better whiskey than this, and they both know it, but beggars can't be choosers, and right now this is what he feels like he needs to do. For a moment, Alex just swirls around the amber liquid before she reaches out towards him, leaving her palm up for him to take her hand if he wants too.

Sitting in silence is hard for Alex, so she settles on:]

You're a hard man to find, Richard. You wouldn't believe how many bars I had to check before I found you in this one.

[nobasisinfact]

I'm surprised you didn't just ask.

[The number of bars she'd looked at wasn't surprising, not really. Richard had chosen this one because it was the furthest place he could think of, and it was completely the opposite of anywhere he'd be.

He'd wanted to be alone, but now that she was here, he wasn't as sure. This was Alex, the woman he was willing to die for, and it wasn't as if he'd not known she would hunt him down.]

[11calls]

I didn't think you'd want me to ask, actually.

[And this would have given him some time alone with his thoughts before she shoved her way in, which was one of the reasons that she didn't. And she didn't want to cause a fight if he told her not to come. Of course, he's known her for three years and Alex is nothing if not good at slipping past his boundaries into his life and making herself at home there.

Still, she just takes a sip of the scotch and makes a small face before she looks at him again.]

Besides, I figured you might want some time to gather your thoughts before I got here.

[nobasisinfact]

[He lets out a heavy sigh before downing the glass in front of him and pouring another.

She was right; but how could one gather their thoughts from something like this? He'd never wanted to relive that night. He'd tried to bury it down deep inside and pretend it didn't cut him as deep as it had. He'd wanted to pretend that Coralee hadn't left that room with a large part of his hear; a piece he'd thought Alex had somehow managed to return to him.

Drudging it up again only made it abundantly clear that it still affected him, that Coralee still had a hold on him.]

I know you've always wanted to know. Now you do.

[The whole of the Sphere knew.]

[11calls]

[Alex took a sip, but a smaller one, not getting anywhere near finishing her first drink, but at least he wasn't drinking alone. Her head for scotch had gotten better since that night but it was never going to be as good as his was; he did have a foot and a fair amount of body weight on her after all, and someone was going to need to be able to get the two of them home.

She drew a line at him sleeping in this shitty dive bar.

Of course Richard was right that she had always wanted to know, but she'd also trusted him to tell her what he was comfortable with her knowing, which he had that night, and of course there were the things that he'd hadn't.]

I didn't want to know like this, Richard. I would never have wished that on you.

[nobasisinfact]

[He lets out a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.]

I know.

[Of course he knew. Alex would never wish this on him; not now that they've gotten as close as they had.]

audio; un: witch

[minus1twin]

[Wanda has seen Richard around the Sphere and has noted his similarities to Doctor Stephen Strange. She'd had thought to ask him but it's only their faces that are the same. The presence of his mind lacks the magic she'd come to know in the short time she'd spent in Dr. Strange's company.

Even so. She can't help but feel a sense of comradery with a complete stranger.

She sighs softly and then asks in a light cautious tone.] Do you think it gets easier? To let people go?

[It's very obvious that she isn't prying into his life but asking in the name of her own past experiences. Wanda has become very accustomed to losing people but this world has given her hope that they might come back but that hope can be dangerous.]

[nobasisinfact]

[He's about to snap at her that its none of her business, but her tone stops him. She's felt the same sort of loss, hasn't she? It's an actual question rather than prying into his private affairs.

So he'll answer.]

No, and you'd do well to remember that here.

[minus1twin]

[Wanda closes her eyes and steadies her voice before speaking again.]

Thank you for your honesty.

[nobasisinfact]

I'm always honest.

[minus1twin]

That is a rare trait.

[nobasisinfact]

Too many people are concerned with harming people's feelings. I don't find that to be a real help to the person being lied to.

[minus1twin]

I think it depends but in general that is true.

[Some lies aren't lies until later and some lies are truths that you only find in the future. Life is not black and white.]

[nobasisinfact]

[Life is black and white enough.]

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<small>[Life is black and white enough.]<s/mall>

Is that all you wanted to know?