audio; un: kinginthenorth

[king_inthenorth]

[There's a story he needs to tell, but he can't stand to do it when there are others around, so luckily he's alone in his dome right now. Then he doesn't have to see anyone when he admits what happened.]

I loved someone once. [Even that was something he wasn't supposed to do, due to the oath he'd taken, but that's not what he's admitting to here.] She was one of who we called wildlings, people who lived north of the Wall, wandering from place to place and swearing allegiance to no one. Kissed by fire, she was, and I loved her.

[He realizes now all the freedoms that had come with life among the wildlings, but his favorite part had been the fact that they didn't care that he was a bastard. It was a concept that meant nothing to them.]

I couldn't stay, though. Staying meant turning my back on my brothers in black, my family, my home. Staying meant being a deserter with a death sentence. So I betrayed her. I took the information I had gained and I left. She had thought I was a deserter, and I...

I never intended for things to happen that way.

[They should have stayed in that cave.]

Comments

audio;un: vegas

[architector]

[His voice is sympathetic, lightly accented and vaguely Eastern European.]

Regrets are often all we have left, aren't they? [A beat.] If you had stayed, what would have been lost?

[king_inthenorth]

My family. [Which sometimes is all he has.] I would have broken a vow that I made, and I quite possibly would have ended up dead.

[Earlier than he had, anyway.]

[architector]

The information you gained, how many lives did it save?

[king_inthenorth]

Their plan didn't have much chance anyway, and it's hard to say for sure, but they weren't able to surprise us. At least a few, I'd say.

[architector]

Truly a difficult decision, but the past lies there for a reason, son. It's no place to live.

audio; un: littlebird

[toivory]

Tell me about her. Your sweetheart.

[king_inthenorth]

Take Tormund's hair and add in Arya's sass and you have the beginnings of an idea.

She would never have lasted south of the Wall.

[toivory]

What happened to her?

[king_inthenorth]

What I warned her would happen.

She died in the attack on Castle Black.

audio un:pnwsalex

[11calls]

I'm so sorry. That sounds awful. It sounds like an incredibly difficult situation to be in.

[king_inthenorth]

It was doomed from the start. We were from two completely different worlds.

[11calls]

But you loved one another anyway?

[king_inthenorth]

We did. Most people at home never get to experience that.

audio: persephone

[threshes]

Men never expect things to happen that way.

[Have one disgusted goddess:]

Ya always throw love away for stupid things like honor.

[king_inthenorth]

So honor has no point?

[threshes]

Sure as hell don't.

[king_inthenorth]

What about family? Does that mean anything?

Video un: theboneless

[ragnarsson]

[Ivar's usually full of snark, but such a tale tends to hit close to home, given the similarities between his home and Westeros culture.]

Sounds as if you were doomed to betray part of yourself no matter what you did. There is no good way out in a situation like that.

[king_inthenorth]

There wasn't. I couldn't turn my back on my family, or my home, or take part in their doomed effort. She was the price I paid for that.

[ragnarsson]

Would you have done things differently if you had to do it over again, knowing what you do now?

[king_inthenorth]

I don't know. Probably not. Someone had to warn everyone about the real threat.

audio; private (after curren thread)

[unknownmoirai]

You loved her but you left and it still makes you sad.

[There is a hesitating pause.]

You do not have to talk to me if you do not want to but what happened? Do you still love her?

[king_inthenorth]

She died.

[Which he had warned her was a possibility.]

There was a group of wildlings who attacked a garrison full of men who were better armed and trained.

[unknownmoirai]

I'm sorry.

[A beat.]

Does it still hurt you?

[As awkward as she is and as complicated as her feelings are. She doesn't want Jon to be sad.]

[king_inthenorth]

I don't regret that it happened. That she happened. It was never meant to work out though, even if she had lived.