thesphererp | Video - un: detwatts

Entry tags:

Video - un: detwatts

[Llewellyn was just trying to enjoy his lunch. Sitting in the recreational dome and pulling apart a pretzel (classic style today, he was feeling homesick) to snack on while scribbling some notes concerning his plans to open a P.I. office down on the paper bag it had been wrapped in.

Unfortunately for him, it was nice where he was. The lighting was pleasant, he was enjoying his lunch, and his notes were slowly eating away at his focus. This was unfortunate because of the incoming interruption to his working lunch-break. The compulsion came on fast this time. He’s starting the video feed function without even thinking about it, almost unconsciously while he ate.]

Mm... Just before I arrived here, the immediate day in fact, I sort of let a suspected murderer out of jail unaccompanied for an hour in exchange for his help to find vital pieces of evidence for the case. It was definitely against protocol, I shouldn’t have done it. My Inspector would have fired me on the spot if it hadn’t worked out. Er... I think he considered it regardless. But! I didn’t believe that the suspect was guilty of the aforementioned murder. Jack— I mean Mr. Walker seemed like a good and trustworthy man.

[Pursing his lips, an awkward expression crossed his face as he felt an embarrassed heat crawling up his neck. He wanted to stop talking now, but apparently he wasn’t finished. Uncomfortable, with a decidedly fearful look in his eye, he continued.]

And er... Well... I suppose that my judgment might have been a bit clouded. I might not have been as objective as I should have been... I found something about him to be quite intriguing... Or uh— maybe the term attractive is more fitting?

... [Then it was over again, and Llewellyn was left feeling incredibly exposed once more.]

Criminy... Can’t a man even eat his lunch without interference in this place...?

[This awkward topic was at the top of the list of awkward topics he did not want to talk about with strangers. He hastily tapped the button, and ended the feed in hopes that he’ll be forgotten or ignored.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So, you let him out because you had feelings for him maybe?

[There's no recriminations in it, just the question.]

Um... I don’t have any prior experience or evidence to say that was the case, not definitively anyway. Can one develop feelings for someone so quickly? I barely knew him then, but there was just something...

[Llewellyn let out a frustrated sigh, because the simple answer was yes. The simple answer was also unfortunately alarming for several reasons.]

But uh— perhaps. I suspect that was the case even then. I don’t know. It struck me after everything was said and done? I didn’t have to let him out, there was another suspect who would have probably told me what I needed to know had I pressed them for answers. I should have, but I didn’t.

That's okay. Sometimes we just click with people in the ways that we never would have expected. And when there's that connection, it makes sense that we act in ways that wouldn't otherwise do.

Did you just want to spend time with him? Even if you knew that it might be limited?

Mm... I think so? He had been through a lot already and I... well I admit that I could understand some of what he had to say. I wanted a chance to know him better, to learn more of his character?

He seemed so honest when he promised to return on his own if I allowed him an hour to visit his mother to keep her from worrying. People lie though, and he had every reason to. My uh— my inspector was being unreasonable, unfair even... The world would have been even harsher if he were formally charged.

[There was a small frown in his voice, but he continued with a vaguely confused tone.]

I still wanted to trust him though, and he did come back... To keep me from getting in trouble.

Is that the only reason that he did it?

[The question is asked curiously but not harshly in the slightest. Honestly considering Alex’s relationship (or whatever the hell to call it) with Simon (though she had called him friend even before she had come here so that was something.]

I’ve uh— asked myself that a few times since arriving here, honestly. I would like a chance to ask him. But I may have messed that up already, and now I’ll have to wait for whenever I get to go back to find out.

[He’s feeling a bit baffled by the idea, but Jack’s reassurance, and the look he’d been given before they parted had seemed to mean something he hadn’t quite been able to work out at the time. The man’s return had been as much a relief as it was a source of stress in a way.]

It would have been smarter, more logical for him to stay away really. I might not have figured out who really killed the victim, and my inspector would have likely let him hang for the murder regardless of whether he did it or not.

Sometimes our heart doesn't care about the smarter or more logical way, Llewellyn. It just does what it wants. [There's a sad smile audible in her voice, that's for sure. Because there's no way in hell for Alex to deny that. She does it all the time.]

But it sounds like he had faith in you, and faith can be a really powerful thing. Can you ask him when you get home?

Clearly... If it did, I might understand all this better.

[Said with a small annoyed huff; it was one thing to give similar advice to others when they were questioning their romantic choices, it was quite another thing to accept it where his own love life was concerned.]

I hope to? Well— As I said, I might have messed that up a bit. I um... [An awkward sound, embarrassed even.] I went to find him after everything was said in done, to talk a bit and try to figure out... Him, or myself, just to see if I was right in my thinking... But I panicked a short while into the conversation and bolted.

[He’s not good at this, Alex. Feelings are weird, and he gets overwhelmed by them pretty easily. It’s easier to ignore them, and he’d genuinely started to just accept that a romantic relationship wasn’t in his future when all this happened.]

[Oh honey. Queer panic. Alex has definitely been there. So shes being very gentle when she asks:]

Was this the first time you'd felt that way for someone?

[Queer panic blended with insecurities that made quite an anxiety cocktail.]

Mm... Well, I suppose it is, yes. I thought perhaps once or twice in the past? Everyone said I just needed to find— [A sigh, nothing was ever as easy as those around the station house made it seem.] and I suppose I was telling myself what I should feel, based on those around me. Then I met Jack and something felt different...?

[He doesn’t know if that makes any sense, it’s not particularly descriptive. ‘Right’ seemed to fit, and yet hardly seemed to explain it properly as far as he was concerned.]

It felt Right. [The sound itself has a capital 'R' on it for sure.] I get it.

[And she does, because honestly that's the same place she's always been throughout her whole life: it was never about the person's gender, it was about the person. Which has definitely been a woman more than once (Amalia).]

You know, [it's soft and kind and gentle.] There's really nothing wrong with loving who you love. Even if society and people around the station would disagree.

It did. Uh— feel Right I mean...? I suppose that’s part of what scared me, at the time.

[Because good things rarely lasted in his experience, and the idea of becoming attached and taking that risk on happiness was a truly frightening thing.

Her tone goes a long way for making the topic easier to talk about, he’s really not used to this and the sphere forcing him to blurt out anything at all about this had been a particular kind of upsetting.]

I um... I do now, even if I didn’t quite get it before. [He was so used to being what society expected, rather than who he was, that it was easier to repress those parts of himself.] And I’ve never been able to really understand why it was considered to be wrong, or why society views it in such a harsh light. I suppose it was just mm... easier to ignore it before.

[Felt safer, more likely. He’s far too used to people getting rid of him for being different.]

It was safer. [Alex hits the nail right on the head because she’s been there before.]

When I started dating Cathy in high school I was terrified. And I mean that was like a hundred years later and I was still scared. Even something feeling Right doesn’t mean that it feels safe. It sometimes makes it feel like the rest of your life is going to have the bottom drop out of it.

[It was terrifying, he’d had his feet knocked out from under him more times than he could count now and it was still such a frightening thing to consider happening again. To take that chance that maybe he could have something good in his life, only to lose it and everything else when things went to hell again.

It was something he wondered about often since arriving here, so many seemed unconcerned by the way others loved here. It was an acceptance that he hadn’t expected to find anywhere, given the state of the laws in his own world. Knowing Alex came from the future in a world that seemed similar to his own had made him want to know more about this specific topic.

He was almost worried now, if she had felt that same fear. The feeling of dread that went with the worry of possibly losing it all because of one particular (and important) part of your life. There were people who spoke out in favour of change in his time, loud voices that were supporters, but he supposed that perhaps some things would never be properly considered by those with the power to make change happen.]

Does it not— uh... Do things never change? Even after a hundred years, then?

Oh! They do! So much. Queer people can get married now! Adopt kids, everything. I mean my fear was because my mom is religious and you know some things don’t change but in the end she was fine with it honestly!

[There’s a little laugh.]

As long I eventually get married she doesn’t care what gender person it is too. As long as it happens sooner rather than later.

[Llewellyn needs a minute to process that, because that was a lot. Getting married? Being allowed to adopt? The chance to have... Well, everything that many men and women like him could only daydream about. A long way from sneaking around to discrete gatherings and hoping the police weren’t called and marriages of convenience, longer still from an unfair incarceration.

It’s very hard to imagine, and while it doesn’t mean much for his lifetime it still is a comfort to know that the world would change. Society would eventually improve in some way, and future generations wouldn’t have to live like himself, there wouldn’t be more situations like Detective Scott’s or the Chief Constable’s or even the Jack Walker’s of the world.

He’s quite for a minute or two before he pulls himself out of his overloaded thought process. His tone is a bit soft, subdued but still relieved in his own way.]

That’s um— That’s really something. That’s more than I could have guessed of the future from the world I know...? I’m glad though, it’s good to know that so much is possible?

And that your mother is uh— fine with who you are, that must be a great comfort after all.

[He’s encountered both strictly religious people who loudly against it, and those who were greater allies than he would have expected. Having very few memories of his own parents, he couldn’t begin to guess what their views would have been.]

It actually kind of took place in a short time, really. In the sixties, there were queer people rioting in New York City and thanks to the civil rights riots, it really helped foster change. There was a lot of adversity though in the 1980s. That was a particularly dark time.

But in the 2000s and later, it does seem to get better. I did a story before I got mired into my show on how this generation has more queer kids able to be out and themselves than at any point in modern history. It's kind of amazing.

Things really do get better, Llewellyn.

[Clearing his throat, he tried to put something into words. That really sounded like so much to happen in a short time. Some of it starting not so far off as he originally would have guessed if asked]

I... Thank you, Alex. It— Its good to know that things change. That it won’t be... as it is for me, for everyone else in the future.

[Very kindly and gently, Alex just adds:]

But while it's not back home, it definitely is here. There's several pairs of husbands or people who have been dating for a long time who are friends. Would you like me to introduce you to them?

[And that was a strange thing to come to terms with on its own. He didn’t have to be worried here, no one would judge him for who he was in this world (at least concerning his sexuality, he supposed). Certainly, it was out there now. It wasn’t like Llewellyn could hide it away and resume not thinking about it until he went home or had reason to.

The offer as another surprise, but not a bad one.]

Oh... I would like that I think...? If you think they would be agreeable to meeting, that is.

[It might do him some good, to meet others like himself. To see that things can work out, that this place was at least safe in this respect.]

[That makes her laugh, but it's a kind sort of one.]

Oh god yes! I know Seregil and Alec for sure. They're from a sort of fantasy world with magic and whatever, but the two of them are some of my favorite people honestly.

And there's Baz and Simon who are a bit younger than you, but they're definitely together.

[For a moment, Alex's voice just gets very soft and wistful sounding:]

I wish Aaron and Eric were still here. They're from a time frame that's a lot like mine. Only the world ended there. Zombies. But they were still living their lives in communities and stuff.

[Llewellyn hums a little at that, so many people all from other worlds that were together, in love... Safe here, at least safe enough to be together. It settled his mind knowing a little more, put it at ease after the panic from having just blurted something out that he couldn’t risk so much as a suspicion of in his own world.]

They all sound like interesting people, I look forward to getting to know them then?

[On the subject of those gone, he frowns a little. It sounds like they too were good friends to Alex, and not from a world that was particularly safe. He had only ever heard of zombies in stories, and in folklore that George liked to discuss. He can’t imagine a world full of them is something one liked to think of their friends being stuck living in.]

I’m sorry that they’re gone, and that I didn’t get the chance to meet them as well...

I'm sure they would have really liked you. They were great people. Closer to Bev than anyone else, but still amazing.

[Alex just gives a small and sad smile, mostly because she knows what they went back to: Eric to die and Aaron to be alone. But at least they'd had this for a while. All of them did.

So! Looking onto the bright side!]

But so Seregil and Alec. They're... fun. And adorable and just amazing, considering the first time I met Alec he was confused about the use of a toaster.

[The shift to Seregil and Alec makes him tilt his head curiously, he didn’t hear others referred to as ‘adorable’ often. Perhaps the odd child, animals, inanimate objects; but that was about it. It made it rather hard to paint a mental image, and so he chose to focus instead on the subject of her meeting Alec and his plight with toasters.]

Oh? So he’s from a time predating toasters I presume?

Yes. They're both from a magical world where technology like that doesn't exist. They're both bards. In the traditional sort of sense and not in the whole Shakespeare sense.

[Though that gives her a pause and she frowns audibly.]

Well, I mean I suppose that's where they got that term, though.

It’s quite interesting to realize the variety of worlds out there... I look forward to making their acquaintance though, I’ve uh— never met bards before.

They'll offer you want and want to tell you a story probably. It's kind of what they do.

Well I do love a good story, as I’m sure you are well aware by now.

Yeah, I know. Just another thing we have in common.

[Alex's tone is amused, because it can't not be.]

Birds of a feather, as they say.

[Llewellyn responds a little more lightly. At this point, Alex had done wonders for his darkened mood. She was good at that, talking people through things, and he appreciated the care she’d shown on the matter.]

I look forward to it though, but until then... Thank you, Alex. You’ve mm... Set my mind a little more at ease.

I'm just glad I could help. If you need anything else, just let me know.

That doesn't sound like a bad thing.

I think that it's good to like people and to trust them.

[Says the person who is way to trusting.]

Perhaps not, but in my line of work one doesn’t generally allow suspected murderers roam free without supervision.

[Even if they were handsome, had kind eyes and a certain relatable view of the world.]

I don’t even generally trust people that easily, it’s...

[A small sigh, trust was a complicated thing for him.]

People lie more often than not, in my experience.

[The fact that he’d trusted Jack Walker, or at least wanted to try to trust him? It was quite telling.]

I suppose not. I admit, I do not really understand human law. I did not have things like that before.

[Her fingers thoughtfully brush against her lower lip.]

I know about lying but... i want to believe in people anyway.

Even most humans don’t understand human law, it’s mm... an imperfect system. Even though it needs improvement, it’s the only one we have.

[Not that the matter of letting a suspected murderer walk around unattended sat in one of the grey areas.

He can’t blame her for wanting to believe in people more often than he did, he wanted to. He really did, but that went poorly in the past... Which had made this risk rather frightening, and confusing after having taken the chance.]

I expect that’s the better outlook to have when dealing with people, but I suppose it could be said that it’s my job to be suspicious so that others might not have to be. I... tried did this time though, and he was being truthful.

I see.

I don't think I could preform a job like that. I would be... uncertain of others. But I want to think that most want what is best for each other. [She places her palm over her head.] I know it is foolish. I've been told that before but I like thinking of what's good.

Otherwise I worry I'll only focus on the bad. But, if you must be suspicious then I will be positive for us both.

It’s not easy, especially in cases where you’d like to believe the best in a person... But there are times when it’s easier to paint it in a light where objective suspicion makes it easier to prove that person isn’t guilty of what they’re suspected.

[Still, it’s not an easy job. It is, however, one that he’s good at and it’s something he’d taken up for specific reasons.

This time had just... Been a very different, very personal beast to tackle. His rule book had been thrown out entirely, and it only had become clear to him why that was in the end.

There’s a small, grateful smile in his tone at her offer of being positive for them both.]

That is kind of you, and perhaps I may learn to be a little more positive and optimistic through association.

( as always, Eddie's just kind of mooching about in the dorm when he sees the video, and–

huh.

it's no big deal ( one of Eddie's best friends is gay!! ) but there's just a lot to unpack, is all, and by the time Eddie decides to reply he's looking thoughtful and only frowning a little. he's got a lot of questions that come to mind, some more pressing than others, but what he ends up actually asking is: )

What does criminy mean? Sounds like the fake swears they put in cartoons so that parents let their kids watch the show still.

( not exactly the big inquisition that the private reply might have indicated but hey -- enquiring minds. )

[Admittedly when he receives the video feed request from Eddie, this was the last thing that he had expected to be asked. Especially considering the kid had contacted him through the private feed. All things considered, though...? He isn’t complaining. Llewellyn would much rather talk about the meaning and history of a word than about his actual confession. It’s easier, and far less awkward.]

Criminy is a common exclamation of my time, for when your startled or upset I suppose?

[Scratching his chin thoughtfully, he continued,]

I heard it quite often in my youth and it stuck, I suppose. It dates back to... The Seventeenth century, I believe?

It’s actual meaning is a bit murky, some say it’s an uh— alteration of ‘Christ.’ Others suggest that from its original spelling it might be derived from the Italian word ‘crimine’ meaning crime.

[Yes, Eddie. He’s a language nerd. This is probably why he’s enjoyed learning more about all the fun slang the kid used.]

( if there was ever a plan to ask something more serious or personal, it's gone by now. in his defence it's an interesting question, and a more interesting answer. it would surely be rude not to follow the conversation through now -- right? )

Criminy, that's so weird. Is it a swear or is it like when old people say 'cripes? When I'm startled or surprised I just say f—

( Eddie cuts off, squints. Llewellyn might be a cool adult but he is still an adult and usually Eddie at least tries to come across like a polite, well meaning kid around them. still, he did say he'd attack creepy doctors with paper confetti if Eddie needed, so there's more than a point in Llewellyn's favour. )

...the F word.

( a compromise. )

Cripes...? hmm...

[He’d heard that one, but it’s still a bit newer. Or at least it was only recently coming into more common use, but perhaps that was why. Another ‘polite’ swear.]

I would say yes, it’s more uh— socially acceptable to say than more colourful language. My Inspector is very prone to cursing and it has damaged some of his ambitions to associate with those above his station if I’m not mistaken. So it’s considered far more polite to say other words like this.

[He hummed a little, awkwardly adding,]

Better still to simply keep a level head and not say anything in such situations when in polite company.

[But even he is only human, and he at least tries to keep to more polite terms or euphemisms. Of course, he’d heard the F word since arriving here, Eddie. He’s learned that language, swears in particular, were becoming far more acceptable as the years went on if the frequency that they were used was anything to go by.

Still, with a raised brow it’s clear Llewellyn is surprised to hear Eddie would even say the word to begin with. He is still rather young after all. There, however, something amusing about the way kid had decided to censor himself.]

Yes I’ve mm... Noticed that many people seem to use the ‘F’ word when surprised or upset here. The evolution of language, I suppose. I’m er— still rather fond of other more creative ways of expressing thoughts and feelings.

[So, no, Llewellyn wasn’t going to say it either. Not because he couldn’t, but because it wasn’t really his style. Plus, given his upbringing, he had worked very hard to train himself in social etiquette to at least... try to fit in better.]

Does your Inspector smoke cigars too? Or drink whiskey?

( don't mind him, he's just cultivating an image of all this old time detectiving business. Eddie's seen the movies, okay, he's got a very specific picture in mind of what this might look like.

Eddie has a complicated relationship with self-censorship. he's a nice kid, a polite kid and parents and teachers alike generally like him quite a lot when he's making that effort. he just tries so hard to maintain that image, that the moment eyes are off of him and it's just Eddie and his friends, he kind of turns a little feral.

which is to say, he's absolutely one of the people using curse words liberally when surprised or upset. or just talking, really. )

That's cool though, you know. Like you can say it but instead you say 'criminy', it's like– you're not less badass. And we get to learn about cool victorian slang stuff. Do you say anything else weird?

( weird is, of course, objective, but Eddie expects the point will get across regardless. after all some of his slang must sound weird to Watts, it's only natural that his would sound bizarre to Eddie. )

Mm I can’t say if he smokes cigars, I’ve never seen him do so... but that doesn’t mean that he’s never smoked one. He does drink uh— a lot of scotch. Perhaps too much, though I’m not sure I would say that to his face.

[It’s not his place to judge, after all. Even if Thomas Brackenreid was a rough, gruff, and sometimes frightening man to deal with in his experience.

Honestly, this line of questioning was doing wonders for Llewellyn’s mood. He even laughs a little at the enthusiasm, that Eddie thought he was still ‘badass’ even without swearing like a sailor. He only knows what the term badass means because of the kid, and it was probably the last piece of slang he would use to describe himself.

Llewellyn is quiet as he considers his answer, because really he had picked up a lot of random words and phrases over the years. If Eddie wanted a return lesson in slang, he would certainly get it.]

Mmhm.... Weird. Well! I suppose when I’ve hit a breakthrough on a case I sometimes get a bit excited and would throw out a ‘Crackerjack!’ It’s become a rather popular term of late. Or Sweet Mary is another one that is a little more acceptable.

[He tapped at the brim of his hat, before coming up with a few more.]

Jimminy Christmas can be used in a variety of situations.... And though a little less acceptable, I admit if I’m angry I occasionally will use the term ‘Hellfire.’

[He tried not to though, it was reserved for his more frustrated days.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Video - un: detwatts

Private Audio

Private Audio

Private Audio

Private Audio

Re: Private Audio

Re: Private Audio

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Good place to wrap this up I think?

Sounds good to me!

Private, Audio

Private, Audio

Private, Audio

Private, Audio

Private, Audio

Private, Audio

private video | @e.kaspbrak

private video

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject