thesphererp | Video

Entry tags:

Video

[He knows the feeling when it comes over him as he strolls through an Agricultural dome. Had it not overtaken him once before? Had the compulsion not left him in a funk for days? Had he not already given hints of this very crime? But it is an overwhelming need. These people must see him as he is, and therefore he must speak. They must know why they should not so lightly make friends with him.

The button pushed, and a quiet, dull voice comes with the video as he explains.]

In Arnes, in my world, there are two great crimes that should not be lightly embarked upon. The first is to control another through the use of magic. Of course it is possible, and not even just by blood mages. But to use magic to command another fully aware being will lead to your magic being taken from you, lead to you being less than the lowest of the scum. My world fears and loathes such perversions, and I...

I am a victim of it. And that was because I foolishly accepted the results of the second vile crime: smuggling items between the worlds is strictly forbidden save missives passed between my family and the royalty of other worlds. I... accepted a talisman as a birthday gift from the royalty of a neighboring kingdom.

It was a kingdom well known for possessing others, controlling and breaking through use of certain runes and symbols cut into the skin or placed in jewelry and forced upon someone. I accepted a necklace like this which allowed the royals of another world to possess my mind. The moment I touched it I was theirs, and they were going to use me to invade my world and rule it.

You may not think this was something I did wrong, of course. But the fact was that I let myself be consumed by my vanity and self-loathing. I have very little magic. I thought I was not fit to rule. I was told by their servant that it would focus and strengthen my powers. To believe such a tool existed was truly foolish, but I wanted to be stronger. I wanted to feel stronger.

So many people died as a result of what I did, of taking the tainted gift. Yet it was more than that. The situation led to my own death, by my own controlled hand. And in doing so, my brother, who loved me deeply, performed forbidden magic, binding my soul to my body and then to his own life. So long as Kel is alive, I shall live. My vanity led to his breaking one of the greatest laws of our land, and there lives only two people beyond myself and my brother who know it. Know how I shelter him when in truth he should be put to death.

I was vain and it nearly destroyed my kingdom twice over. I deserved to die so many times over this. I didn't die enough.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Rhys..

You had no way of knowing what they would do. You were young and wanted to believe in the goodness of others. You cannot hold yourself responsible for the actions of others.

I can. I'm well aware of the ramifications of disobeying these laws. They were meant to protect my world from a great and distant evil. And because they were violated, my world was nearly destroyed!

[Llewellyn waited a few minutes to get in touch, he’s... Not expecting Rhy to be any better off after this confession than he was after the last. It made a lot of things make a lot of sense, but this certainly wasn’t how he wanted to learn more about the weight of what burden Rhy was carrying on his shoulders.

A lot had gone wrong, and it was clear a lot of people had been hurt... But so had Rhy, from what he could see. Even if his decisions had been wrong, they had been influenced by his life circumstances. The blame sat squarely with those who had preyed on a young man’s weaknesses.

Instead of approaching this as he had before, he chooses to show that he still there and that the confession had done little to change his mind on his continued association with his friend... And to focus on something he can understand a little better than other things. Something he has experience with.]

Family, true family, will do as it must to protect each other. Even if it’s considered wrong, sometimes one can’t stop themselves from making that choice out of desperation to make things right. You’ve protected each other, I don't think that should be judged too harshly given the circumstances.

[Even if the laws of his world stated otherwise, and people of his kingdom would say otherwise, anyone who had been put in such a desperate situation would understand.]

My world might have been destroyed. In no small part due to my own behavior.

[Yeah, he definitely feels guilty.]

I've died too many times now, and I can't FIX what I did to my world!

Might have, Rhy. Might have, but it didn’t. I can’t say that I know what kind of damage was done but despite the mistakes made and the outside parties responsible for putting all this in motion, your world still exists.

[There is emphasis put on whom he sees as responsible; because poor decision or not, Rhy was as much a victim as anyone else in all this.]

Maybe you can’t fix everything, but you’re still in a position to try to make things better. The fact that you care about your world and worry about fixing it, that says a lot about what kind of person you are underneath the ‘vanity.’ I can think of many people in a position of power who only care about what the world can do for them in a mess like that instead.

The larger portion of the people of my capital died. I... My brother and I are heavily responsible for this. I should have let him flee and never come back. I should have stopped him in his bad habits earlier. I should have... been able to protect him. But my magic was never there to be had.

[Rhy looks so broken, so sad... And with his story out there, maybe he can talk at last.]

Buy food. Come to the dorm. I need to talk.

[There’s a lot he’d like to say to that, almost as much as he’d like to ask but that can wait. Llewellyn is quick to agree to the request, as it’s something he knows he can do right. If Rhy wanted food, he was getting food, especially if he wanted to talk about everything in what ever detail he could manage while eating the food. Unload some of the thoughts and feelings that had been bottled up before he was forced to speak of it across the very public network.]

Of course, I’ll uh— I’ll grab a few things and be there in a short while then.

[It tumbles out in a little rush, before he reluctantly ends the feed and hurries off to gather up more than enough food. An assortment of pretzels seemed appropriate, easy to pick at, and he knew what flavours his friend liked best from their past stops at the stand. He also stopped at one stand that had ‘cinnamon buns’ because the smell was extremely intoxicating and honestly he had a feeling they’d be appreciated as a sort of dessert.

Llewellyn usually walked everywhere, not liking the confines of the transit system, but decided today to put that discomfort aside in favour of getting back to the dome more quickly so Rhy wouldn’t be waiting for another hour.]

[Rhy has just found himself in the kitchen, making a large pot of tea. Comfort, the best he can find seeing as he has no alcohol around him. And when Watts enters, Rhy looks up. And doesn't smile.]

You're quick.

[He’s unsurprised by the reaction to his appearance, but the fact that Rhy is even doing something like making himself a pot of tea is... Well it’s not good, nothing is good right now given the earlier confession and what Rhy was dealing with. It is, however, good to see him doing something to keep himself busy. Better than other things he could be doing, all else considered. With a small shrug, he responded.]

Well I took the train, I guess. It’s mm... faster than walking, you know.

[Dropping the bags lightly on the counter, an awkward but expression crossing his face as he did so,]

Wasn’t sure what you would like to eat so uh— I just got an assortment.

[Come now. Why should something be so bad about tea? But yes, tea is bad. It was something his mother would have brought to share when he was upset.]

Train? Oh dear, I've never tried. But thank you. Food is always welcome.

[For him, tea was one of those beverages that were offered when one was troubled or in distress, or in ‘polite company.’ It was also something he could never make a decent cup of if his life depended on it, and certainly couldn’t drink without far too much sugar and cream. It apparently might as well not be tea at that point.

He shrugs about the train,]

If you’re ever in a rush, they aren’t bad... I prefer walking, or cycling if it’s an option.

You’re welcome though, I’m glad you uh... I’m glad you asked.

[Well, Rhy was most definitely troubled and in distress. He just told everyone that he had died. Multiple times. That he was marked with cursed magic. He was SO past distressed. Rhy also isn't really good with making tea so at least they should be happy that he properly boiled water and is pulling the teabags out so they aren't far too steeped.

And look, things of sugar and cream. He's a menace.]

I've seen them but they seem... ominous. Metal cans hurtling around? I will pass. As for asking. Well, even the dead hunger.

[Llewellyn pulled himself up to sit on one of the counters nearby to watch Rhy make his pot of tea and give the man the space he might appreciate picking through their food selection first. Llewellyn hadn’t forgotten that the request for something to eat hadn’t been the only one made.

And the comment about the dead hungering gave him pause. It was’t something he knew how to address, to him Rhy seemed very much alive. He was breathing, there was a healthy colour to his skin, all signs of life. But, he supposed, that was ‘magic’ at work.]

Well um... There’s more than enough to choose from, might even have some of your favourites in there.

[He hums a little, pulling his hat off and hanging it on the handle to the cupboard next to his head as he tries to decide how to continue. Gently he speaks up, a small reminder that they were here for more than food.]

And you more than just hunger if I remember what you said last, Rhy.

Oh? What did I say last, Llewellyn? Do you think the dead can't hunger for food? For the pleasures of the body? I assure you that, at least in my case, we can.

[And for a while he'd thrown himself at the experiences as much as he could to dull the emotional pain of existence.]

I’m well aware of how death in my world differs from deaths in other worlds, Rhy.

[Well acquainted with it, professionally and personally. Death is inevitable, and has followed him since his childhood.]

Especially in your case, but you’re still you at the end of the day. Despite your being mm... ‘dead’ you clearly are as the rest of us when it comes to wants and needs. Still human, still deserving of pleasures and respect.

[Respect that the Sphere had not afforded him, or many this month.

Absentmindedly Llewellyn fussed with a bit of lint he noticed on his jacket sleeve and gently continued on his winding train of thought.]

What you last said, Rhy, was that you needed to talk.

Oh yes. That. I thought it was that I was willing to talk. But I suppose that is accurate as well.

[He's just pouring tea. Don't mind him.]

Mm... The subject of talking was brought up at any rate.

[He certainly won’t mind Rhy carrying on with what he was doing, no point in making tea if you weren’t going to pour it. He was occupied instead with practicing the art of being patient. It’s not something he’s good at, but he’s trying because he knows from his own experiences that it does more harm than good.

He isn’t going to push further, the subject of talking was brought up and it would have to do until Rhy was ready to do more than consider talking.

That meant sitting on the counter, and fussing with kitchen utensils. They needed rearranging, at least to his mind.]

... What kind of tea are you making?

[Alright, he apparently couldn’t sit in total silence.]

Lavender.

[Once the cups are poured he pushes one toward Watts, along with making sure sugar and milk are at reach for them both. Then he reaches up to the collar of his shirt and starts undoing buttons. He had come to like these button-up things for more casual appearances.]

Mm... oh, thank you.

[He hadn’t expected a cup for himself, but that was also a bit silly. People didn’t generally make a whole pot for themselves. He puts a generous amount of sugar in the tea, and milk, it was hard to say if he’d even really taste the floral notes by the time he got through with it.

Keeping an eye on his friend, he notes as Rhy unbuttons the top of his shirt. It’s not socially appropriate to unbutton your shirt collar in polite company where he’s from, but awkwardly he has to remind himself that he’s not ‘where he’s from’ now.

It also reminded him a bit of a meeting he’d had recently before coming here, one that was still fresh in his mind since his own recent confession. Busying himself with his tea instead, he adds.]

It’s good. The uh— tea. I can’t even boil water right if my memory of past attempts serves me right.

[Listen, Rhy isn't going to judge, because he does the same thing. Lavender is good with milk and sugar. But his is not nearly as overwhelmed and he can still taste the flower. But he's going to do that once he finishes undoing his shirt. And once it's far enough down he pulls the thing aside. Right over the heart is an ugly scar. And around it, more marks, like a tattoo tainting his skin.]

Look.

[And he does look up, Llewellyn for all his distraction with his tea is paying attention. Listening for some sign that Rhy wanted to talk.

There’s a sharp intake of breath, some alarm as he sets his teacup aside and leans forward from where he’s sitting.]

That’s... Um...

[Troubling and horrifying.

It makes his friend’s story about his own death seem so much more real. Not that he hadn’t believed Rhy, but it certainly made what happened that much clearer.

For all that Llewellyn had a penchant for helpful advice and his want to help, there are times when he has a hard time articulating. Can’t quite put words to something. Now is one of those times. All he can think about is how painful it looks like it had been, how Rhy felt like he deserved something so awful... He’s used to seeing wounds like that on people laying on slabs, maybe not the tattoo but the wound certainly.]

I’m sorry, Rhy. That looks... That must have been awful.

[If there is an undertone of anger in his voices, it’s because he’s angry for what Rhy was put through. He can’t abide such things, those who put people through such pain are deserving of punishment.]

I died. There is no ifs ands or buts about it. The dagger, driven by my own hand, pierced my own heart. I bled out into my own chest. I died.

[He closes his shirt, but doesn't bother to button it.]

At this time I live only because my brother used forbidden magic and brought me back to life. By tying me to him. And I hated him for it.

That much is clear, even if it’s... hard for my mind to reconcile that reality with what I see before me now.

[He’s frowning, but not unkindly. It’s a sad little thing, and intense as though he’s thinking very hard about something.

He knows it might not be appreciated, but he can’t help but feel glad that Rhy was alive, that Kel had done it. It was selfish, but he would be sad to have not gotten to know the man. Really, he himself can understand Kel’s decision. Were he in a position to do so, he would have done anything to bring his brothers back. Was willing to... Well, that did’t matter now.

His focus was on Rhy, and the subject at hand. Musing over his tea, he glances at Rhy again.]

You don’t still hate him though, do you?

It's hard to hate a man who risked his life to save your kingdom. I love my brother. I always loved my brother. But...

[How can he explain the bitterness of having his life tied to the far better man?]

[His posture relaxes a little, back into it’s usual slouch as he mulled over Rhy’s words. Llewellyn could tell there was definitely something else there, a complicated feeling that Rhy wasn’t sure how to approach.

There was always complication involved when someone said ‘But’ and let silence fall instead of elaborating further. He’d been the one to say it often enough, or heard it from someone on the other side of a table at the station house.]

But it’s more... complicated than that, I presume?

[It is usually where family is concerned.]

video; un: littlebird

no subject

Private Video - un:detwatts

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject