thesphererp | Meme share: Baz

It’s dark and cold, and, honestly, this whole thing is fucking stupid. Part of you hopes no one finds you, so they never learn your dark secret. You don’t need people mocking you for getting kidnapped – especially by fucking numpties. Numpties are, officially, the worst things in the cosmos. They might be even worse than the Mage. Nah, he’s still worse, but they’re creeping close up his ass, that’s for sure.

As your eyes adjust to your surroundings, you realize that what you saw before wasn’t much better than what you see now. They probably think this is some kind of courtesy, but all you see it as is a sick fucking joke. You may be dead, but you sure as hell don’t sleep in a fucking coffin! What asshole started that? You’d like to find him and spell him stupid. Actually, you tell yourself, the coffin thing was probably caused by Eastern European myths spreading through Europe and over the pond to America. Fucking myths. At least it’s a nice coffin. It looks like they stole something in good shape, which is good because you’d hate to think they’d taken it from a previous occupant. Oh, Crowley! Please tell you they didn’t steal a used coffin and shove you in there? You have your dignity!

You’re awakened by a bright light, sunlight. It’s only a few moments before a bag is shoved through the slit where the light is coming from. You try to force your way thought, but the damn numpties push you back. They’re strong little assholes when they’re in groups. When you get out, you’re going to destroy every last one of them – if you have the strength to. Honestly, you’re not sure how long you’ve been here now. You know you’ve been drifting in and out of consciousness for a while now. You’ve missed the beginning of the new semester. Bet Snow’s over the moon because you’re not there. He probably isn’t even thinking anything bad has happened to you. He’s probably letting Bunce roll all over your bed. The least he could do is do it himself. Get his scent all over it so you have something good to go back to (not that he would have any idea how enticing that would be to you). He’s probably taking long, hot showers and making the mirrors all steamy, walking around wearing nothing but a towel – shit! That isn’t a good line of thought when you’re trapped in a cramped coffin. Then again, you’re not sure you even have the strength to get aroused right now.

Another sliver of bright light breaks the endless black (seriously, would it have killed them to spring for white lining here … or lights?) as another bag is shoved in. At least they’re feeding you, the only problem is that you don’t know where they’re getting the blood. Crowley, you hope it isn’t human blood. You’re pretty sure they’re not killing anyone for it, at least, and what the hell are you supposed to do about it when you’re trapped in a coffin with no other way to eat except what they give you. Still, you think it might be deer, or squirrel, or something. Your mind drifts back to school, to Snow. You can’t help wondering what he’s doing now. He’s probably talking with his mouth full and getting crumbs all over the room. Crowley, he’s a mess. Yes, a mess that you’d love to make out with, but a mess all the same. Maybe he’s started to wonder where you are by now. Maybe he’s decided that your folks pulled you from school. It’s possible – except for the fact that there’s no way in hell you’re going to let the damn Mage run you out of your mother’s school. It was hers first. If she were alive today she’d be the one running it, not that wannabe military dictator. Then again, if she were running the school, you probably never would have met Snow. Fuck! Do you actually have to thank the fucking Mage for your meeting Snow? That’s bullshit! You don’t thank Robespierre for having been given a glimpse of the Dauphin of France. Ok, that comparison was probably a bit much. Snow is not a prince, but you’re getting desperate here. You need to cling onto something, and Snow’s the one thing – person you’ve decided you’re going to cling to.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Being humane is different from having humanity.

Some of the most ruthless monsters I've ever known were human, son. I would question that.

You don't have to be humane to be human, and you don't have to be human to be humane. I want to keep both.

What makes being human better than anything else?

It's not about humans being better than anything else, it's about what vampires are lik in my world. It's about the fact that I should be dead.

And yet you are not, and you are not human. I can only suggest you work out what it is you are, who you want to be, rather than longing for something you no longer possess.

I don't ... know.

[And that's the center of all this. He doesn't know what he wants to be, what he is. He's not a vampire, not like the ones in his world. He doesn't want that anyway. But he's not human either. He's just some weird monster.]

Well, first and foremost, son, you are you. The rest will fall into place.

It hasn't since I was a toddler, what's gonna change that now?

Well, you do have to try.

Yeah, not my strong suit.

I'm beginning to notice.

You'll have to forgive me, I've had everything decided for me for a long time.

[He might be being sarcastic.]

Well, perhaps start small. What is it you'd like to do just now?

Not have people see this.

Well, barring that?

Simon seems pretty stable, so I'm not sure if I want anything else.

Basing your existence on one person isn't fair to them.

Not completely on him, he's just the most important.

More important than you?

To me, yeah.

I would urge caution in that. You will likely live far longer than he.

I try not to think about that.

There's no reason to dwell on it, it shouldn't be ignored, either.

It's not like I can fucking do anything about it.

Re: Voice; Private

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