video; un: whiteroad

[whiteroadrunning]

[Our scene is laid in a pod kitchen. The first-person view displays a countertop, with a toaster upon it. The toaster is older, a bit battered, but it's been lovingly polished to some semblance of its former glory. It's plugged in, but when Alec pushes the lever -- which he's done a few times since the video started -- he's not pushing it down quite hard enough to engage the power. Also, there's no bread inside. It seems, at the moment, he's just trying to figure out how it works.

Functional usage can come later.

After the fourth or fifth try, Alec sighs.]

Oh, Sakor's t--

This is a foolish question, no doubt. But would someone care to explain this to me? I've taken the damned thing apart and put it back together twice, and I can't...

It's for bread, yes? Or pastries?

[Alec grumbles and kneels down beside the counter. The feed cuts after a brief flash of his distorted reflection in the toaster, pouting, brow furrowed with frustration.]

Comments

[of_bokthersa]

[Seregil frowned, rubbing the same thumb Alec had kissed over the man's joint.]

You're no longer the prudish Dalnan boy I met in Asengai's dungeon. It's hard to remember, and I forget myself along with the banter.

[Reaching over, he brushed strands of hair from Alec's face. It was hard being desperately in love with a man who, sitting before you, was much older than he should be. It was an adjustment for both of them, and Seregil hated it. He hated that Alec had to school himself when he'd become such a vivacious and brilliant man, that Seregil would hurt that man more than comfort him.]

It isn't you talí; it's me. You have nothing to apologize for.

[whiteroadrunning]

Still, thank you for letting me know I was overstepping. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

[Alec doesn't release Seregil's hand, though. He's content to simply hold it until Seregil pulls away again.]

[of_bokthersa]

Alec,

[Seregil continued to run his fingers through Alec's hair, leaning to rest his forehead against the other man's.]

If I weren't getting used to five years of changes, I promise I'd have made love to you multiple times by now.

[whiteroadrunning]

[Seregil's undoing him, little by little. These touches would be chaste enough on their own, were they not coupled with that affirmation. That... He almost wishes Seregil hadn't said it. It was easier to feign morality when he could reason that Seregil didn't want...

At the very least, it brings a soft blush to Alec's face. And he reminds himself, pleads with himself for reason, to fight the compulsion to simply close that remaining distance and kiss Seregil breathless.

It's like fighting for air against a raging sea.]

Talí... [Alec closes his eyes. His voice is low, and he swallows hard against the sudden parch in his throat. His head tips, almost imperceptible, battling a habitual urge, though their noses touch.] You're not making this easy.

[of_bokthersa]

Neither are you.

[There's a slight smirk at his choice of words and the fact that he'd managed to make Alec blush. Form the moment Alec told him that there was a future where the two of them were together, everything had become so much more difficult than when he'd imagined the man to have no interest in such things.]

Illior's eyes, I almost pinned you to the counter because of that jam incident.

[whiteroadrunning]

[Alec opens his eyes again, laughing quietly. It's good to see that, at the very least, both their senses of humor are intact.]

What? Why? I licked your face. It wasn't meant to be appealing.

[of_bokthersa]

Yes, close enough for me to pin you to the counter and kiss the breath out of you.

[He can't help the low chuckle that comes out at the admission. In the end, he knows that he's a pathetic and easy creature. Just knowing that Alec loves him and wants him in return is enough to cause him to want him.]

And if we've been together for five years, I'm sure you're aware of what I can do with jam.

[whiteroadrunning]

I know what you can do with a great many things, but jam never figured into it. A bit sticky, don't you think?

[Alec's hands curl into loose fists, fighting physically against the notion of pawing at Seregil's face. Passive, he remembers. Let Seregil lead.]

But I'm still close enough for that.

[of_bokthersa]

Not if you're sure to lick every inch of it off.

[So close, close enough for him to tilt his head just slightly and embrace the other man. Alec was a damned tormenter and Seregil was sure the other man knew it. He was baiting him.]

And I'm well aware of how close you are. It's maddening, you know.

[It was strange, being this honest with Alec about his feelings. He'd hid them for what felt like forever, and now he was able to tell him just how much he wanted to be with him. In the end, he had no one but himself to blame, as with all things in his life; his suffering was his own doing.]

[whiteroadrunning]

Do you think it's only maddening for you?

[Seriously, he's two seconds away from sitting on his hands. It's awful. And he can't help the slight shift of his head, to press the gentlest, lingering kiss to the very corner of Seregil's lips.]

But I love you. And I want you to be comfortable with this.

[of_bokthersa]

[Damn, but Alec was making this hard. Seregil is well aware of his slipping resolve as his hand ghosts over Alec's neck. He knows exactly how this is going to end if neither of them pulls away. He's certain Alec knows too. Seregil was never one for patience or restraint, and he'd been at his limit since their last conversation. Chastly sharing a bed with the man he loved and knew loved him in return had been torture, but he'd convinced himself that it was for the best, that it was the right thing to do. That he needed to become reacquainted with this Alec before he took things further.]

I can see why my resolve to tell you nothing broke the first time. Damn but you're irresistible.

[A deep chuckle comes from him; warm and honest. Alec had always been so, but it wasn't for Seregil to believe that it was for him. Instead, he'd thought the boy could use it in his nightrunning. Now he knew how right he was.]

[whiteroadrunning]

I don't mean to be. I think you just bring it out of me.

[Alec tries not to shiver at Seregil's hand passing over his neck. Tries, and fails, because that's always been something of a weakness for Alec, and Seregil takes complete advantage of that fact. It's accompanied by a quiet sigh, and Alec's eyes drift shut again. If he just concentrates, centers himself, perhaps it will be easier to stop himself from leaning in for another kiss. And in theory, that's a fine idea despite being an outstanding test of willpower. But in practice, with Seregil still close enough that Alec can taste his breath...]

You can kiss me. [Alec whispers.] I miss the way you taste.

[of_bokthersa]

[The invitation is too much for Seregil to deny. Alec is a horrible enabler in this situation. He's still young, and he's had five years of having Seregil as a lover. Seregil can't blame his want for having that lover returned. So he presses the rest of the way, kissing Alec deeply before pulling back, waiting to see what Alec will do next.]

[whiteroadrunning]

[If Seregil is expecting anything less than eager participation from Alec, he's sorely mistaken. The moment Seregil brings their lips together, Alec is happily meeting the pace, kissing him with a gentle assuredness and a soft pull. Because after years of doing so, Alec is intimately familiar with how Seregil likes to be kissed, of just how to make their lips fit perfectly against one another, of how he sometimes whimpers when Alec pulls with his teeth and shivers when Alec's hands push through his hair. And he'd have kept after it when Seregil pulled away, were he not so conscious of the man's need for a slower pace.

As it is, he simply casts Seregil a questioning stare. And then, his face blooms into a brilliant smile.]

Perfect. Tali, you always feel perfect.

[of_bokthersa]

[Everything felt right about this. Everything. The feel of Alec's body against him and the touch of his lips felt as if they'd been meant to be there; as if there'd never been a time that they hadn't. It was maddening beyond his reason and resolve. Somehow he got the feeling that Alec did that to him a lot.

Another laugh escaped at Alec's words and he wonderd just how much Alec understood how irrisistable they were.]

So much for taking things slow, eh talí

[Before Alec could respond, he kissed him again.]

[whiteroadrunning]

[We still can. The affirmation is on Alec's lips, but Seregil kisses them away. Alec would like to think he's done a fair job of letting Seregil set the pace with this, but in reality, he's probably pushed more than he meant to. It's difficult with Seregil so near, hard to remember that this is still new for him, that Alec should downshift for the sake of Seregil's conscience, but then...

Then Seregil is kissing him, stroking him, and Alec forgets why he should be reining in.

With a quiet whimper -- because it's hard, when all he wants to do is melt -- Alec breaks from Seregil's lips, though he doesn't quite manage to pull away.]

We can still take things slowly. If that's what you want. I want you to be sure.

[of_bokthersa]

[Seregil is still all hands as he brushes and strokes Alec's hair.]

It's never that I've been unsure, talí, it's getting used to a you that's five years ahead of me. It feels wrong, but there isn't much that can be done about it.

[whiteroadrunning]

[It feels wrong. That stings. It sticks with Alec in a very real way, because despite Dalna's guiding principles, nothing had felt more right from the moment they kissed. Had Seregil been so at odds with his feelings in the beginning? Alec was so caught up in his own nerves and worry at Watermead, perhaps he'd missed this facet of Seregil's reticence.

Alec's hands had been on their own path, holding Seregil's head with fingers buried in his dark hair. They drift down now, resting at his shoulders to give a reassuring squeeze.]

How can I help it feel right?

[of_bokthersa]

[This time the laugh was a bit dry.]

Move my time to match yours.

[He moves his own hands to rest on Alec's shoulders, squeezing tight before one of them moved to cup his face.]

I want nothing more than to be with you, and nothing's made more sense. But the damn years make me backstep. It's like I've lost time and there's no way of getting it back, no matter how hard I try. I can't start where you are, and you can't start where I am. It's an impasse I don't know how to surmount.

[whiteroadrunning]

[Alec smiles sadly but nods, even as his hands slide away from Seregil's shoulders, coming to rest instead on the man's knees.]

I understand. I've had trouble accounting for it too. I promise I'm not trying to be difficult.

A bargain, then. [Alec reaches up with one hand, to lace his fingers with Seregil's.] When you're ready, I'll be completely at your mercy for as long as you like. You can take your time, and show me exactly how you want me to make love to you.

[of_bokthersa]

I know you aren't talí,

[A small, loving smile crossed his features, softening them.]

You're too kind for that.

[Something about the proposed bargain, however, forced his heat to drop into the pit of his stomach. He had feared that he'd forced Alec to grow too fast as Ilar had to him, but now a new worry appeared. Had he done as Korathan had?

Korathan had been demanding as a lover. He'd never allowed Seregil the time to come to an understanding of things, had never eased him into the whole thing. Not that Seregil held it against him; on the contrary, the pair were on good terms, and he considered him as much as a friend as Phoria would allow. But that wasn't what he wanted for Alec. The man should be cherished; he should have been allowed to feel comfortable in his decision and in the understanding of what he wanted in a lover and lovemaking. Seregil never wanted to take from him, only give.]

No, I'd prefer you show me what you want.

[His look was almost pleading as he squeezed Alec's hand.]

[whiteroadrunning]

We can do both.

[If Alec has any notion of Seregil's reservations, he doesn't comment on it. Instead, he coaxes Seregil into another kiss, tender despite its firmness, and lingers for only a moment before he leans away.]

I love you. Nothing will change that, I promise you.

[of_bokthersa]

[Seregil isn't hard to coax into the kiss, and even with all his reservations, he's eager to return it, letting out a slight sigh as Alec pulls away.]

I love you too, talí