Voice; un.Ben.Solo

[havethestrength]

[There's a heavy sigh. Ben knows this will come eventually even if he doesn't seek it out. It's better to have it over with than prolong it indefinitely.]

What we saw in the tunnel; some of you may have questions. Ask.

Comments

[fuckingtragedy]

I was, a bit.

[havethestrength]

You've fought against yourself as well?

[fuckingtragedy]

Back home. Everyone keeps trying to tell me it wasn't me. But it had my face, so that's kind of hard to believe.

Does things to you, psychologically. But I guess what it does probably depends on your relationship with yourself in the first place, yeah?

[havethestrength]

I guess it depends on how much you like yourself. I didn't.

[fuckingtragedy]

I'm not sure I did either. Or maybe I just didn't value myself because I didn't expect to make it past 18. I imagine those can feel similar. Maybe.

Why didn't you like yourself? And do you now?

[havethestrength]

It's complicated.

[It takes a few minutes before he continues]

I never wanted to become what I did, and once I was there I didn't know how to be anything else. It was all I had left - or, I thought it was.

[fuckingtragedy]

What changed?

[havethestrength]

I - someone showed me I could go back.