Audio - UN: TheBetterTwin

[doubled_speed]

[It's been eating at him. A lot. For years. And the compulsion results in him talking. He has to talk, has to say it, and he definitely has to say it now. So here it is, and his stomach is roiling.]

When I was fifteen I blew up half my school. Because it turns out that I wasn't just fast. I wasn't even remotely just fast.

Molecular acceleration and a chemistry lab? Fucking problematic.

[His voice starts shaking, because he doesn't want to keep saying it, but the people here have to know what the fuck he did. They have to UNDERSTAND. The why doesn't matter. Just the what.]

Last I heard there was still a kid in a coma from it. There were a lot of injuries, chemical and fire burns and all that. But I blew up my fucking school. The trial? Not even a half a day. In and out and they threw away the fucking key.

I deserved it. All those people I could have killed.

I fucking deserved it.

[Because he believes it. So much. With that, he cuts off the recording. And flees back to his dome because fuck, he doesn't want to interact with anyone right now. And no doubt, they don't want to deal with a teenaged psychopath that blew up his school.]

Comments

[doubled_speed]

[Fate? Fate didn't make him. Two witches did. Probably.]

That... was the day I knew I was a monster, Loki. The day I realized I could kill people around me, without meaning to. Of course I'm ashamed of it!

[morethanatrickster]

So could I, if my magic was left uncontrolled. Am I a monster?

[doubled_speed]

[To Asgardians? Yeah. To the people of Earth of Loki’s dimension. Probably. To Tommy?]

No. You’re my brother. And you struggle, just like me.

[morethanatrickster]

[He still, even after all this time, isn't sure how he feels about that, but it's appreciated nonetheless.]

Others died, yes, but their deaths weren't intentional. It was an accident, Tommy.

[doubled_speed]

[Dude, Tommy has learned to MAKE family because he can't trust family to be there for him because it is supposed to be. Keep making the family bigger so at least one of them sticks around.]

It's complicated, alright? You already know that.

[morethanatrickster]

I do, but you've more than made up for it. You joined the Avengers, for Heaven's sake. You can't return the dead to life.

[doubled_speed]

Young Avengers. The adults still don't take us serious. And I'm literally something dead that returned to life. Who knows what the fuck I can do.

[morethanatrickster]

Not precisely, you aren't. It's a bit more complicated than that, and you weren't responsible for the resurrection. You are capable of whatever you dream yourself to be, really, returned from the dead or no.

[doubled_speed]

I'm not exactly capable of whatever I dream. I'm not Billy. I don't get to grow up to be god.

[morethanatrickster]

You really do have a hard time seeing things metaphorically, don't you?

[doubled_speed]

Metaphors are words. The world is seen through actual fucking eyes.

[morethanatrickster]

Very astute.

[A sigh.]

What do you want to do with your life, Tommy?

[doubled_speed]

I...

[No one has ever asked him that.]

Be a super hero?

[morethanatrickster]

All you've ever wanted was to become a superhero?

[doubled_speed]

[All he'd ever wanted was for his family to love him. Which was never going to happen.]

Never saw a point to dreaming before.

[morethanatrickster]

Well, there always has been. Even more so now that you're here rather than required to fulfill any ridiculous expectations.

[doubled_speed]

There are no expectations to live up to anymore.

[morethanatrickster]

Then now is a good time to figure out where you'd like to go.

[doubled_speed]

[Tommy's fingers flash through his hair because yeah, frustrated.]

I've spent years trying to figure that out. Nothing's come to me yet.

[morethanatrickster]

Well, what do you enjoy doing?

[doubled_speed]

I, uh... I don't know. Hanging with Speedy.

[morethanatrickster]

...something you could do professionally.

[doubled_speed]

I don't have any skills but my speed. I guess I spend time as a courier here.

[morethanatrickster]

Have you considered learning a trade skill?

[doubled_speed]

Like what? What can I even do when I'm limited by normal people physics? I go so fast that I could break stuff.