thesphererp | Audio - UN: TheBetterTwin

[It's been eating at him. A lot. For years. And the compulsion results in him talking. He has to talk, has to say it, and he definitely has to say it now. So here it is, and his stomach is roiling.]

When I was fifteen I blew up half my school. Because it turns out that I wasn't just fast. I wasn't even remotely just fast.

Molecular acceleration and a chemistry lab? Fucking problematic.

[His voice starts shaking, because he doesn't want to keep saying it, but the people here have to know what the fuck he did. They have to UNDERSTAND. The why doesn't matter. Just the what.]

Last I heard there was still a kid in a coma from it. There were a lot of injuries, chemical and fire burns and all that. But I blew up my fucking school. The trial? Not even a half a day. In and out and they threw away the fucking key.

I deserved it. All those people I could have killed.

I fucking deserved it.

[Because he believes it. So much. With that, he cuts off the recording. And flees back to his dome because fuck, he doesn't want to interact with anyone right now. And no doubt, they don't want to deal with a teenaged psychopath that blew up his school.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Only because some people wanted to use my powers as a means of assassinations.

But you've still learned control, right? Which means you won't have a repeat of that. You caused something shit to happen once while it was outside of your control. You can't beat yourself up forever about it if you've learned control now.

And if I go crazy? If I lose control? What then? What if I’m just seconds away from going crazy like gramps doe?

Then you deal with it if it happens. You've done the best you can to make sure something like that doesn't happen again. It's all you can do.

Is it really that simple?

Yup. Unless you really want to make it more difficult than it needs to be.

Life is more difficult than I want it to be.

It's more difficult than any of us want it to be. But there's good shit in it too, right?

Is there? Sometimes it seems impossible to believe in.

People keep telling me there is.

I don't know. People seem full of shit sometimes.

Most of the time they are.

Like is just liek that, right? It sucks, then you die. Mayeb there are a few good things once in a while.

I want to disagree on principle, but you're not wrong.

I’m nineteen and I’ve already seen too much shit.

I'm sorry. It's not fair and I know it.

Not like you haven't been through worse shit, right?

I don't think it's really a competition, is it? We've all seen shit and been through shit.

Yeah, that's... not wrong. But you should know that I don't think I had it worse than you. You're still young, which means tha shit still has to be going on pretty bad where you're from.

Yeah. You're not wrong, shits getting pretty bad and even worse by the day. Most of it's my fault though, so can't say I deserve much sympathy. I'd say we've both had it pretty shit though.

You're not Erik. He tends to be the sort of person that fucks shit up.

Guess I'm more like him than I thought because that's all I've done lately.

Maybe. I’m not sure how much of that is good and how much is bad.

Neither am I.

Guess we're just like that, right? Trying to deal with everything we did.

(no subject)

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