Memshare

[beboth]

[ The memory is pretty political in nature, Theon's best friend dealing with the news that his father is imprisoned and he is summoned to the capital. His decision is one that came quickly. Theon knew that the quick decision isn't particularly an easy one. He doesn't exactly envy Robb in that moment, figuring out what to do without Ned Stark leading them is a challenge, certainly.

Theon watches as Robb talks and once he sits down and they're alone is when he finally speaks. ]

You afraid? [ He asks. Theon already knew the answer, he knew Robb better than he knew anyone else. He could see Robb's hand shaking, but Robb hadn't shown his weakness even moments before. I must be. ]

Good. [ Why is that good? ]

It means you're not stupid.

---

[ Shortly after that's broadcasted ]

This is a memory of another man and another lifetime. I do not wish to speak of it.

[ In truth, it hurt him worse than the darkest memories he has had put out for the whole sphere to see. ]

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[toivory]

[After Theon's memory, Sansa took some time to herself. She found herself in the agricultural dome, sitting under one of the trees, replaying it over and over. Her brother. Her older brother, the one who had danced with her at feasts and humored her, acting like a gallant prince. He was handsome and brave, and she knew he'd come to save her.

The significance of the letter Robb had read did not escape her; she had written it herself, another lifetime ago.

Eventually, she finds her way back to her dome, her eyes ringed red, nose to match. Theon did not wish to speak of the memory, and she would honor that wish. She didn't know what to say anyway- a twisted part of her wanted to scream and ask why he'd done such a stupid thing but they were far past that and what did it matter as she had forgiven him- so she wouldn't say anything at all.

She'll just start to dress for bed, hanging her long cardigan up, stepping out of her dress. In just her small clothes now- she was working so hard to become more comfortable in them, she continued to get ready for bed, not looking at Theon, not saying anything at all. Surely he wanted his privacy, after such a thing.]

[beboth]

[ Theon is still not quite feeling okay or at least his version of okay. His heart pangs with grief more loudly than it normally does. He knows that the memory had probably hurt Sansa as well and he feels sorry for it. ]

Are you cross with me?

[toivory]

[She looks up when he speaks, She stands there in what she's told is modern underwear, tall and pale. Across her abdomen and back are a multitude of scars- ones wide apart from Ser Merryn's sword, long, almost lovingly carved scars from Ramsay's knife. Ramsay's work was by far the worst, decorating her torso in particular. A long strip across her belly where he'd flayed the skin. Her breasts, largely untouched save for a nipple. Her long red hair reaches to her butt, but she's braided it to the side.

Sansa takes a moment to wrap herself in a robe, thankful the time has been affording to her to try to better gather her thoughts. They fly around, memories of Robb, accusations she could say, questions she could demand answers too. The latter two wouldn't help anything. Theon was so broken she knew any questioning from her would be disastrous.

And what did it matter? He'd paid his price.]

I miss him.

[beboth]

[ Theon doesn't quite look at her. To him, she's beautiful no matter what she wears and he always feels the itching of a stirring when he sees her in such clothes like she's wearing then. Her scars are no worse than his own, his own body far more ugly and mangled. She's beautiful, her scars only adding to her beauty.

He expects questions, accusations and yet there is none of that.

Theon lets out an unsteady breath at what she does say. He'd almost rather accusations and questions. ]

I do too.

[toivory]

[She wishes they were fighting. That she had the bravery to ask him the questions she wanted to ask, or say what she wanted to say. Or at the very least, that she had the words to even put them into thoughts.

Nothing she can say will bring her brother back. But it wasn't Theon that slid the knife into Robb's stomach. He made mistakes. She had made mistakes. They had paid and they kept paying.]

it's just hard- seeing him again. With that stupid letter I'd written, thinking I'd solved absolutely everything. We were all children, then.

[She doesn't look at him, sliding her nightgown over her head for the sake of something to do.]

I wish I knew what to say.

[beboth]

[ Theon didn't know quite what to say as he sat on the edge of their shared bed. He couldn't quite look at her still, even as he heard the rustle of fabric. He pushed his mangled hand through his hair and lets out a heavy breath. She didn't know what to say and neither did Theon.

He hates that these things keep getting put out there, ripping scabs off Sansa's wounds. He could take it in his own -- he deserves it even but she deserves to heal properly. ]

I'm sorry.

[toivory]

What do you have to be sorry for, my love?

[She asks him, knowing the answer. He'd expressed his regret so many times in so many ways.]

You can't choose what memories are taken any more than I can. We both would choose others, if that were the case.

[beboth]

You know, Sansa.

[ Theon replies tiredly. The emotions of the day had exhausted him more than usual and the energy to even go over his sins again isn't there. But his memory was tied to so many mistakes he had made, that if he hadn't made... maybe everything would have been different or he would have at least died by Robb's side. ]

[toivory]

[she knows she knows. But that's not the point. She's trying to be supportive, to help him as much as she can. She leans across the bed, to try to draw him toward her.]

Do not apologize to me for trying to survive, Theon.

[beboth]

[ Theon draws away because he knew not all of his decisions had been about survival, not those early ones... ]

Sansa... you know as well as I do not all the decisions I made were for survival. They were selfish and misguided attempts at trying to be Ironborn when I was more Stark.

[toivory]

[she exhales heavily, leaning back against the headboard of their bed. She wanted his arms around her now, holding her. Kissing her. She always felt so safe and warm in his arms. She'd clung on to him tightly, desperate to find an escape in him.]

And we know now. You are a Stark, you always have been and you always will be. You saw the error of your ways and you've corrected it. I have only seen that with one other person.

[She looks at him with big blue eyes.]

And I only trusted him because of Brienne.

[king_inthenorth]

[Jon doesn't really want to talk about it either, about Robb or Ned or what had happened to either one of them while he was at the Wall (not that he could have done anything to help either of them, he knows that now). But this is a glimpse of the part of the story he didn't see -- how it had all affected Robb.

Still, he doesn't quite know what to say.]

No, he wasn't stupid.

[beboth]

[ Theon stares at the message for a long while but since it's Jon, he answers. ]

He was smarter than we ever were.

[king_inthenorth]

He was raised to be the lord of Winterfell. He learned things the rest of us didn't.

[beboth]

It might have done us all better if we were more like him.

[king_inthenorth]

It would have been better if a lot of things were different.

[beboth]

Unfornately the past cannot be altered.

[king_inthenorth]

We just have to hope that the future is different.

[beboth]

The future only matters for some now.

[king_inthenorth]

That future exists because of all of the people who fought for it.

[Including you, Theon.]

[beboth]

That is true.

[king_inthenorth]

You know the North. They won't let any of it be forgotten.

[beboth]

Sansa has the foolish idea to erect a statue of me next to one of Robb.

[king_inthenorth]

Sansa is in charge. Are you going to stop her?

[beboth]

No one can stop her but it’s still not right.

[king_inthenorth]

It's probably easier if you just get used to the idea.

[beboth]

I don't argue with her on it but I still find it wrong.

[king_inthenorth]

What can you do about it?