thesphererp | Video | UN: SpeedofThought

[The video comes live to Tommy, hair recently retrimmed because fuck that shit, sitting on a kitchen table in his dome.]

So, these dolls are fucking creepier than people here get. Not kidding. Sure, elf on a shelfs are some serious corporate America bullshit back home, all about indoctrinating kids to the police state and Big Christmas and all that shit, and my little Roma-Jew-ass self couldn't give a shit about them normally. But we all know these fuckers are being weird, right? Not just creepy smile weird either, right Bozo?

[The view of the video swivels to a rocking chair, where the elf-doll is tied to the back. And, for those who are keen of eye, there's also Speedy, Tommy's pet sloth, climbing around without a care in the world.]

Bozo agrees. And any time Speedy makes a noise, that's my good son agreeing too. Anyway, as some of you may know, I'm fast.

Really fast. Like, literally outruns the speed of sound fast. Most of which I don't do here because no one needs a fucking sonic-boom in underwater domes, right? Gotta be safe. But I don't just run fast. I think fast. I see fast. And shit is like this: these things might be faster than me. So we're going to see.

Be scared folks.

[Tommy sure as fuck is.]

Because when a guy that experiences more than a week of perceived time for every minute you experience... it's terrifying that I can't track this shit. Be careful.

Anyway, anyone wanna swap data on the shit these bitches are getting up to? Because I'm half worried they're going to murder me in my sleep.