Audio; UN - TheBetterTwin

[doubled_speed]

Dudes. And Dudettes. And people that are other than those.

Haunted House next month. Loki and I are going to do it. Part of his learning what Halloween is about. Anyone wanna help? Gonna have to figure out a good site for it, but if you think you've got useful skills, definitely raise your voices.

Because this is gonna be the spoopiest thing EVER.

Hot chocolaty milk need not apply

Comments

[doubled_speed]

[It's probably something he earned by narrowly avoiding the villain status and taking after his grandfathers.]

Okay, I know Stark sucks, but let's not consider that a hobby. Pranking him like stealing all his clothes and hanging them up in trees is totally fair, though.

So I guess I should start with explaining Halloween?

[ihadstrings]

I'll make a note of that.

[When this actually happens, Tony will know who he can blame for putting the idea in Ultron's circuits.]

Go ahead. You've got my attention now.

[doubled_speed]

I'll help. Family or not, it's a grade A prank.

[He's happy to take credit.]

Okay, so like Halloween is this old pagan holiday or something. About dead people and ghosts and demons. But America was like 'fuck that shit, let's make it about candy'. Pretty sure it's one of those holidays mostly created by companies that wanna sell shit. But it's good consumerism in my books. Lots of candy.

Anyway, kids dress up and go door to door to trick-or-treat, which is where people give them candy.

[ihadstrings]

This is one of those times where the line from point A to point B doesn't sound precisely linear. But I think I get. It's an excuse for candy. As it appears many holidays are. Why is there obsession with candy?

[doubled_speed]

Sugar, man. Like, the three things humans go after the most in taste is sweet, salty and fatty. I think maybe it's an evolution thing? I don't read a lot of stuff though.

But it's more than that. It's about being something other than you for a day.

[ihadstrings]

I wouldn't know. But I wonder...

[That idea of getting a human body, even if it's temporarily, is in his head again. It'd be nice to experience things that he couldn't in this form.]

Now that I can understand.

[doubled_speed]

Oh? The not being you? Why, does that appeal?

Last year I went as Quicksilver. Which is funny because, you know, my uncle. But his costume choices suck. And his hair? Horrible.

[ihadstrings]

It might be nice to be known as someone other then the mistake Tony Stark created that almost wiped the human race out.

[He hates that is going to be the legacy he leaves behind.

There's an almost smile on his metal face at that and his tone is bone dry.]

Nope. Can't see it at all.

[doubled_speed]

[Ultron, you gotta make your own name if you want out of the shadow of your family. Tommy knows that really, REALLY well.]

Oh come on, I look a TON like Uncle Pete. Hell, we both had a green and silver costume at the same time, once. It was embarrassing.

[ihadstrings]

Green and silver? You seriously thought that was a good color scheme?

[Someone who thought red, silver, and black as the pinnacle of coolness is judging you right now.]

[doubled_speed]

Yeah, you’re silver with no accent. Boring!

[He definitely sounds very defensive here.]

And I didn’t design my outfit. Kate did. Do you know how much work goes into unstable molecule getups with low friction factors and sturdy boots? Once ya got a good thing you don’t change often.

Except uncle Pete. He is vain.

[Pot? The kettle is calling you black.]

[ihadstrings]

Silver is classic, alright? Your costume is going to be dated within seven years.

[Isn't one of them supposed to have the mentality of an adult around here? Though it's hard to tell which one that is.[]]

You could always just run around without clothes. That's an option.

[doubled_speed]

Dude, I haven’t finished growing yet. Within seven years I will have. And can transition to a new costume if I want it. And my silver is reflective which is useful for distracting bad guys by being shiny and everywhere at speed.

You just wish you looked as cool as I do. I’ll take it out to show you sometime.

[ihadstrings]

I recommend red. It'll be like how people always think red cars go faster then ones that are other colors.

[He snorts.]

Please, I already look far cooler then you'll ever be.

[doubled_speed]

I mean, yeah, some people really have a robot kink, but I'm pretty certain I'm WAY cooler than you are.

[ihadstrings]

Keep on dreaming, kiddo.

[This is one of the few times Ultron's more childish side hasn't been to his detriment.]

[doubled_speed]

I'm the one that gets all the chicks. SO yeah, cooler.

[ihadstrings]

I'll believe that when I see it.

[doubled_speed]

WOW didn't know you're a voyeur
guess the internet really did affect you

[ihadstrings]

Eeeewwww. You've got a weird and sick mind, kid.

[doubled_speed]

biological imperatives man
and the ladies love it

[ihadstrings]

Aaaaand I feel like we're done here.

[doubled_speed]

i mean if you can't handle it