Audio

[beboth]

[ It’s a compulsion that Theon doesn’t feel that he can deny. There’s plenty of sins and things that eat away at him. His life is but a series of bad decisions that have hurt people he should have been better for. But there is perhaps one particular guilt that’s at the root of all guilt. There’s never been anyone that could assuage it and even is death doesn’t even the score. ]

I killed my best friend and my brother. I betrayed the man who raised me and murdered people who had done nothing but care for me. I turned my back on everyone that mattered because I was trying to prove I was someone I wasn’t. It was all stupid and nothing I do makes it right because there are two many bodies on my hands.

[ The feed cuts as soon as the words end because hell if Theon wants to even acknowledge that conversation happened or talk about Robb or Ned or any of them. ]

Comments

[king_inthenorth]

[It's a good thing Jon and Theon aren't in the same room right now.]

Who were you trying to be?

[He has to focus on that because he can't stand to dwell on the rest.]

[beboth]

[ Theon remembers having a conversation somewhere near the same vein. Jon ironically had given him some of the best perspective that Theon could have received from the other. ]

I was trying to be a Greyjoy. Ironborn.

[king_inthenorth]

Why were you trying to be ironborn?

[beboth]

Because I thought I was supposed to be. I'm a Greyjoy.

[king_inthenorth]

A Greyjoy raised by a Stark.

Just like I -- I'm sure Sansa has told you this -- am a Targaryen raised by a Stark. You know which one I choose to be.

[beboth]

You did not always know that, Jon. I always knew I was a Greyjoy. I always felt torn between being a Greyjoy and being a Stark...

I realized I could be both too late. You taught me that, actually.

[king_inthenorth]

Things would be a lot different if everyone could just have been whoever they wanted to be from the start.

[beboth]

I don’t know about that.

[king_inthenorth]

No? Why not?

[beboth]

I didn’t know who I wanted to be.

[king_inthenorth]

Do you know that now?

[beboth]

Yes.

[king_inthenorth]

Then do that.

[beboth]

Such a thing is not simply done.

[king_inthenorth]

Why not?

[beboth]

Because! I am no longer even a man.

[king_inthenorth]

Then be somebody else.