audio: marshes

[gristle]

Okay so I'm looking for easy and simple cooking recipes that don't take a lot of time.

[She doesn't have the focus for time.]

And if you're going to ask me why I as a girl don't already have 'em, don't. Because I will punch you in the face and I am getting really good at it.

Comments

[itsnothingpersonal]

Yes, dear, the question was rhetorical.

[That being said, he does actually have something he can offer.]

Porridge is a simple dish that can be made quickly with few ingredients. It may be a start.

[gristle]

Don’t call me dear, okay?

[its clear from her voice Bev hates that.]

Isn’t that what Oliver Twist are? Or the three bears? It’s real?!

[itsnothingpersonal]

[Don't make me have to patronize you, little human.]

Then what would you have me call you?

[Oliver what now?]

...porridge is some sort of legendary meal on Earth? That's disgusting.

[gristle]

Beverly. Or Bev.

And no it's not legendary. It's like... one of those things that sounds fake.

[itsnothingpersonal]

Beverly. [He could play nice for a bit.] My name is Loki. I can assure you, I meant no offense.

Oh, good. It's horridly common, and can taste dreadfully bland, but not always.

[gristle]

Nice to meet you, Loki.

I probably won't make it then, but thanks for offering anyway.

[itsnothingpersonal]

I hope so, Beverly. I think we'll all have great fun, if we all just get along.

My apologies. Have you thought of...ah...hamburgers?

[gristle]

Yeah. It’s something I could do before.

[but her father liked them so she won’t.]

[itsnothingpersonal]

Then I have nothing to offer. I've never been given cause to cook for myself.

[Except...here, but so far he's been able to get food out.]

[gristle]

What are you doing here?

[Because yeah.]

For food, I mean. Don't you need to eat?

[itsnothingpersonal]

I do, yes. There are several establishments in the merchant dome.

[Though it's likely someone is going to catch wise about his skipping out on his tab eventually, seeing as they all have individualized implants in their brains.]

Otherwise, I do know how to make porridge.

[He does, actually, have an idea how lame that is.]

[gristle]

Yeah, there are. But even that can get tiring.

[Which is one of the reasons she goes for food and Richard's and did at Aaron and Eric's.]

Why do you know how to make porridge?

[itsnothingpersonal]

So can starvation.

[Loki doesn't know what asking for help is, and no one's offered, okay?]

Because sometimes things pull you away from home, and you have to make do with what you can find.

[gristle]

You could find porridge but you couldn’t find like... box mac and cheese?

[itsnothingpersonal]

The last time I was on Earth for any sort of adventure, they hadn't yet invented boxed instant meals. Also, they sound disgusting.

[gristle]

They're not bad if you make 'em the right way.

How old are you>?

[itsnothingpersonal]

I find that highly unlikely, but perhaps you can prove me wrong.

A little over a thousand, by Earth reckoning. Why?

[gristle]

Cause you said before convenience food, and it's been around a long time.

[A long time to a fourteen year old anyway.]

You have to add things to em to make them good. Like real cheese, and milk and spices and stuff.

[itsnothingpersonal]

A hundred years, give or take, on Earth at least.

...that seems to defeat the purpose of "convenience" food.

[gristle]

It isn’t hard. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid.

[beverly honey you are still a kid.]

[itsnothingpersonal]

I didn't say it was hard. I said it was redundant.