video| un: polaris

[ferrokinetically]

[ If the first question you have when you see Lorna is "does she spend all her money at Hot Topic?" then you're asking the right questions. She's got on an asymmetrical leather jacket with metal spikes on the sleeve, black leather pants with straps that kept her collection of metal knives secure, and bright green hair from root to tip. The green theme is one she's clearly fully on board with. Accenting the bright green hair she's also got some deep green lipstick on and sparkling green nail polish. To fully tie it all together she's also wearing a metallic green headpiece. Nobody can ever say she's not coordinated. ]

Hello fellow inmates. Since I'm brand new here I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm Polaris. [ Every word she speaks is practically dripping with sarcasm and she's got an equally sardonic smile to match. ] Just wanted to see how everyone was doing in our beautiful underwater prison today. [ Because that is exactly what it is. A prison. Nobody was going to convince her otherwise without some damn impressive skills. For a moment she looks like that might be all she actually has to say. Then she leans back and folds her arms over her chest. ]

Actually, I've got a question. I've been looking through these archives and looks like some of you have been here a long time. I get it, it's got some nice amenities. Love the view. But I gotta ask, how'd you all just collectively give up on trying to find a way out? [ And with that question she does, rather abruptly, end things there. ]

Comments

[doubled_speed]

Come on, Lorna. Get your head in the game.

[ferrokinetically]

I have no idea what you're talking about. [ None. At all. Nope. ]

[doubled_speed]

[Oh, but he smiles, because he knows the truth. And he laughs.]

I'll get you to say it. I've got plenty of time.

[ferrokinetically]

Say what?

[doubled_speed]

Don't worry, Aunt Lorna. I'll manage it. Some day. When you least expect it.

[He grins for the camera.]

And then we'll know who the coolest member of our family here is.

[ferrokinetically]

I'll always be expecting it now. [ Tricky devil. ]

Coolest or most sneaky?

[doubled_speed]

Given we're all show-offs? Yes. Both.

[ferrokinetically]

I don't know if I'd ever say I was a show off. [ Yes she would. So would anyone that knows her. ]

[doubled_speed]

As a reminder, this is a video and I can see what you're wearing.

Don't lie. That's a bad example to set for your nephew.

[ferrokinetically]

What's wrong with what I'm wearing? [ Other than the intense amount of 'trying to be intimidating' vibes it put off. ]

Setting bad examples is what I'm known for. Can't go back on it now.

[doubled_speed]

Well then you can be the Wine Aunt.

And come on, that's SUPER trying hard. Almost feels like a betrayal of the spirit of the Green Magnus.

[ferrokinetically]

The fun wine aunt right?

Having a committed style isn't trying too hard. Besides, it's practical. Makes sure I'm never without at least some metal to use.

[doubled_speed]

Well, I don't know if there is a stereotype for an unfun wine aunt.

Dude, trust me, I'm all green and silver myself. But man, you are more on brand than even me.

[ferrokinetically]

As long as it has fun in it I'll accept any title.

I take pride in being coordinated and functional.

[doubled_speed]

Hey, you're fun. You're family. And that's two great things.

Gonna get you a coffee or something. And introduce you to your great-nephew Speedy. He's my sloth.

[ferrokinetically]

Just don't start suggesting we do a family production of YMCA. [ Please don't do that to her. ]

You have a sloth. [ How did he get a slot? This is important information. But more important than that is: ] Don't even try to say you didn't get that for the irony.

[doubled_speed]

That really old song with the stupid dance? Totally fucking pass.

[Don't look at him like that. Don't talk to him about irony.]

I have a sloth. And I didn't pick it. Speedy picked me. Just showed up.

[ferrokinetically]

Good. Happy we settled that at least.

[ She laughs. Can't help it. ]

A slot just showed up at your doorstep?

[doubled_speed]

Hardly. How would it knock? It was in my bed.

[ferrokinetically]

How would it knock? Asking the important questions there. It is a lot more logical that it'd have just appeared in your bed.

[doubled_speed]

[Dude, she knows it's funny to ask that. And he feels like he's won a prize there.]

And yet, it did. And a book telling me how to take care of it, and part of my dome was converted into a habitat for him. And there was a picture for Mom.

[ferrokinetically]

Someone had to give it to you. But why are they handing out sloths?

[doubled_speed]

There's only one Speedy. So they're not just handing them out. And I think it's supposed to be a lesson, or perhaps a comment on 'slow the fuck down'.

Maybe this place doesn't like me running around fast? I try to keep it under Mach 2, you know, just for respect.

[ferrokinetically]

A sloth lesson. Sure, I've heard of weirder things. [ Not really. But she might as well go with it. ]

Or it's just an ironic joke the place is playing on you.

[doubled_speed]

Ironic jokes are things that I can deal with. Because Speedy is good to me. And he's the perfect pet.